Discovering Your Core Values
Understanding your values is fundamental to self-discovery and personal fulfillment. Values guide decisions, shape behavior, and influence how we interact with the world. If you’ve never taken the time to define your values, there are numerous online exercises that can help.
Try these value-sorting exercises to get different perspectives:
Each tool provides a different approach to identifying core values. Be sure to record your responses so you can compare and contrast the results. This can help refine your top values and give you a more nuanced understanding of what truly matters to you.
A simple exercise is to narrow a long list down to your top ten, then reduce it to five, and finally identify your top three non-negotiable values. These are the values that define who you are and drive your choices in life and work.
When Values Become Misaligned
Once you’ve defined your core values, they serve as a personal compass. However, challenges arise when your values come into conflict with those of the organization you work for.
For example, if you value honesty and transparency but work in an environment that prioritizes secrecy and manipulation, you may feel uncomfortable or even resentful. This misalignment can lead to frustration, burnout, and ultimately the question: Is it time to leave?
Tactical Steps to Assess Misalignment:
- Journal Your Experiences: Keep track of situations where you feel discomfort. What values are being challenged?
- Talk to a Mentor or Trusted Colleague: Get an outside perspective on whether your concerns are personal or systemic.
- Identify Possible Adjustments: Can you shift roles or responsibilities to better align with your values?
- Plan for Next Steps: If misalignment persists, consider networking or updating your resume for potential new opportunities.
Recognizing When Values Are Stepped On
Values are deeply ingrained, and when someone violates one of your core values, it can trigger a strong emotional response—often anger, frustration, or disappointment. If you reflect on the last time someone really upset you, chances are they went against one of your fundamental beliefs.
Self-Reflection Exercise:
- Identify the Trigger – What exactly happened that made you upset?
- Connect it to a Value – Which of your values did this situation contradict?
- Assess the Intent – Was it a deliberate act, a misunderstanding, or a difference in perspectives?
- Respond Thoughtfully – Instead of reacting impulsively, consider addressing the issue directly by asking about the other person’s motivation. This can clarify whether the offense was intentional or simply a matter of different values.
Moving Forward with Reflection and Action
Understanding your values isn’t just about self-awareness—it’s about using that knowledge to navigate challenges effectively. If you find yourself consistently at odds with your employer’s values, it might be time to move on. However, if you encounter occasional conflicts, using reflection and communication can help resolve issues before they escalate.
Practical Strategies for Alignment:
- Regularly Reassess Your Values – Values evolve as you grow. What mattered most to you five years ago may be different today.
- Choose Environments That Align with Your Values – Whether it’s work, friendships, or community involvement, surrounding yourself with aligned individuals leads to greater fulfillment.
- Advocate for Your Values – Whether through policy changes, workplace discussions, or setting personal boundaries, standing up for what matters to you fosters authenticity and integrity.
Conclusion
Values are at the core of who we are, influencing our decisions, emotions, and interactions. When aligned with an organization’s mission and culture, they fuel motivation and satisfaction. When misaligned, they can lead to discomfort and disengagement. The key is self-awareness—understanding your values, recognizing when they are challenged, and making informed choices about how to respond. By doing so, you create a life and career that truly reflects what matters most to you.